THE WEDDING

           It was Chris and Pat's wedding.  I was the minister.  We had gone through rehearsal the night before, but the bride's mother had not arrived in town early enough to participate.  So, the day of the wedding just prior to the actual ceremony, I briefed her as to her role. 

            The ceremony began.  I stood facing the assembly.  The groom was turned, looking down the aisle.  The wedding march began and everyone stood, as the bride came slowly toward her groom.  It was lovely and typical.

            Everyone was to remain standing until I said a short piece about "who gives this woman."  You know the line.  After that short opening statement, the father was to move beside the mother.  That was the mother's clue to sit down, then everyone would follow her lead, while the wedding couple and myself traded places.  I was to have my back to the assembly and they were to stand facing everyone.  The changing of places went very smoothly.

            As I was going through the ceremony, I noticed Pat would look out at the assembly and grin a big, sort of wondering, grin.  Then he would look at me and smile.  It was as if he were trying to tell me something. 

            The ceremony was not long, perhaps twenty minutes.  And as I turned to present the bride and groom to everyone, I saw what it was that Pat was grinning about.  Everyone was still standing.  They had all been waiting for the bride's mother to sit down and she never did.  So, of course, out of protocol, they could not.  Since I had explained to the mother what she was to do, I never waited to check and see if she had followed through.  I merely turned my back and began with the service. 

            I made an assumption, and there are often problems with making assumptions.  When we assume something we take the chance of making the wrong choices and hurting ourselves and others.  When we fail to investigate, or at least look around for the truth, we run the risk of error, and often end up hurt or hurting others.  Foolish people make assumptions.  Wise people search for truth.

Find out the truth, then make decisions based on that.  Look into the facts, and decide when you have them.  Don’t assume to know the how or why until you’ve searched.  If we investigate our actions will be wiser, and our lives fuller.  This is especially needful when working in cultures that are not our own.  Since we make many mistakes in our own land, it is especially needful to find the truth, without making assumptions, while working in other people's lands. 

            By the time I discovered my assumption was wrong, it was too late to do anything about it.  Fortunately, it wasn't a life-shattering thing.  The next assumption I make just may be.

            “Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding.”

Proverbs 23:23

Josiah Tilton

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." 

Mark Twain